Now let’s see. I went to the Akina opening exhibition on Thursday (photos coming soon), which was really amazing. Lang Leav was so down to Earth and friendly. I would love to meet her again! The next evening I went to the Bavarian Bier Cafe for a birthday dinner/Pure Bier Festival ( 
). And then that evening when I checked my mail I found my Aromaleigh order waiting for me (double ).
On Saturday I unfortunately couldn’t go to the Redfern Markets ( 
) as I had to go to my sister’s boyfriend’s birthday lunch. I also missed the Equal Rights rally in the city (double ).
Today I went to a Christening. The baby was cute (although she starting crying when they started pouring the water and stuff) and that got me thinking… Would I be a good mother? See, the thing is I don’t see myself being a mother at all but, if I do become one, I don’t think I’ll be a terrible mother. I just have doubts about my capabilities. I have no “maternal bone”, as I read once in a book.
My mother told me to give it time. That there are women like me who may start out not liking kids (It’s not that I don’t like them. I just find most of them brats). But once I have my own, my sentiments would apparently change.
What does being maternal mean anyway? Or, for that matter, being paternal? Is it just another label that separates sexes, and grounds the rules on what a woman and a man should be in the family? Or is it a clear cut, scientifically proven thing that men are paternal and women are maternal? Does maternal mean affection and paternal mean protection?
Just take a look at this photo:
Why is that? Wouldn’t coming between a father and his child be equally dangerous? Why is it women who are always portrayed as more protective of their children than men? I would have thought it went both ways.
Thoughts are very welcome, because I really don’t know how to come to a conclusion in this matter.
May 16th, 2010 - 3:57 PM
I agree with kids i think they are cute but they r too much too handle XD
thanks you for the comment aswell :3
May 16th, 2010 - 5:08 PM
That's an interesting question you pose. I think that some men can be quite paternal and protective. And there are some women that are NOT maternal at all. As for me, I think I'll be pretty maternal, but I am in NO rush to get there!
May 17th, 2010 - 2:44 AM
Hmm, interesting topic! before i had my kidly, i too had NO maternal feelings at all. it wasn't that i hated kids or anything, but, like you, found that so many of them were just spoilt little brats! I wont go into the details, but my pregnancy was NOT planned. :S I was scared shitless, because i did NOT feel ready to be a mother- despite my age (28 at the time), and the fact that my partner (who was my fiance at the time) was over the moon about it. I decided that it must've "happenned for a reason", plus the support of my partner would be helpful, so i went ahead with the pregnancy. HOWEVER. I kept waiting for that "maternal instinct" to kick in…but it just didn't. People would get all excited around me, and ask how far gone i was, and was i hoping for a boy or a girl…i smiled and nodded, and said all the things i thought i was supposed to say, but as soon as i was alone i would cry my eyes out because i was fucking TERRIFIED. I hated being pregnant! I was scared, and uncomfortable, and i felt like my life was over. I also felt like a fat ugly cow!
May 17th, 2010 - 2:45 AM
Part 2 because my comment was too long!
I honestly didn't feel any differently until the moment i was holding my newborn for the first time. Then all of a sudden it was like some switch went off, and i felt the most intense, irrational love for the little rugrat- which has only grown as she has. It's really weird, but yes- I am now one of those fiercely protective mumsies! Like FEROCIOUSLY overprotective! But I am absolutely positive that dads are just as protective of their bubs. Of course, the bond between a father and his child is probably quite different, but yeah..it's something i wonder about too. I sometimes feel that my kid is like a little part of me- having developed inside me, and then literally feeding off me for the first few months after birth.. I guess that's something that fathers will never fully relate to, but that definitely doesn't mean they love their kids any less. It is sad that the fatherhood role is so often underestimated. For sure some fathers are useless and couldn't give a shit- but then so are some mothers, sadly.
May 17th, 2010 - 2:46 AM
Part #3!!!! Sorry! I had to split the comment into 3 because i blab on too much!
I think it's a very personal choice. I'm not one of these people that labels others as "selfish" if they don't want kids. We all have different interests, and some people are happy with their kid-free lives, and i totally repect that! There is nothing wrong with you if you don't feel "maternal". Maybe it will happen, and maybe it wont. If it ever does, I'm sure you would be a cool mum!
Um, sorry for the essay!
On a ligher note, I will be researching Lang Leav now! I love exhibtion openings! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And it's always nice when artists are approachable and down to earth! Looking forward to seeing the photos!
May 19th, 2010 - 4:01 AM
interesting!
i have always wanted to be a mother "one day". then i had some personal issues around 21 and ever since then it has been the only thing i want to do. i cannot wait until i am able to have a child of my own.
maybe you will become more 'clucky', maybe not. i dont think it matters eitherway.
perhaps men/fathers are never shown as overly protective as mothers bc we still live in a world where most of the parenting lies with the mother? interesting point you raise thou
May 23rd, 2010 - 5:19 PM
It’s always a pleasure reading your essays. If you were at Uni and I was your lecturer you would get a High Distinction for your efforts!
Anyway thanks for your input! Now that you put it that way, I can kinda see where people are coming from when they tell me “wait until you become a mother, then those maternal instincts will kick in”.
May 23rd, 2010 - 5:26 PM
You sound like the coolest mum ever! Although yes, it’s sad that some parents don’t give a shit about their children. I mean, wtf?